Sunday, 25 July 2021

Tips for Online Dating from a VERY Single Girl

Spoiler alert, if you're expecting this blog post to be a Sex and the City, Carrie-esque style piece full of shagging and dating and men throwing themselves at me, it's not. My dating life is DIRE right now. Well, to be fair it's been pretty dire, well actually no dire is the wrong word, it's been pretty much non-existent since I split up with my ex bf last March.

My Hinge photo lol (what do we think?!)

It's VERY clear that I dealt with my break-up extremely badly (lol understatement), and to be fair I still think about it all the time still now. I've been on a handful of dates since, and non of those have passed the stage of there even being a third consecutive date. This is for a number of reasons, either I don't fancy them, they don't make me properly laugh (sense of humour is HUGE for me), they give me the ick (we all know there is absolutely no coming back from this once it's happened) or I just don't see it going anywhere. When I say I don't see it going anywhere it doesn't mean I expect us to be official after two dates because that scares the hell out of me, but time is so precious I don't wanna be spending it with someone who doesn't tick all my boxes.

From months of therapy, and months of getting RSI in my thumb from swiping (mostly left to everyone, but whatever) I've learnt not to chase ANYONE. 

If they take days to text back? Get rid. It takes two seconds to reply to a message and if they can't dedicate that time to you however 'busy' they are,  then it's a red flag. If they wanna speak on Hinge/Bumble/Tinder/whatever app you use for weeks on end and haven't actually suggested meeting up for a drink? Why the F not? Ask them! And if they swerve the question then unmatch. We ain't here for pen pals amirite??? Constantly updating their dating app profile is a bit of red flag too, especially if you've moved from the app to WhatsApp. Kind of screams desperation and that they aren't happy just pursuing things with just you at that moment. Which is fine if you're playing the field too, but if you're looking for something more stable, not so good.

Also, and this is something that happened to me recently!!! Shocking I know, with my breaktakingly good looks and untouchable personality. I was supposed to meet up with this guy to go for a drink tonight, we had already decided on a venue but not a time (was this purposefully?!?!) and then he messaged this morning saying he had a bad reaction to the vaccine so is feeling pretty shit. No mention to reschedule the date? Normally I would have bent over backwards with the whole 'no worries!!' and sent a list of dates and times to reschedule but I just thought you know what, bye. If you are 31 and can't say to someone that you're either not feeling it any more, you're back with your ex, you've stumbled across my blog in the last couple of days and think I'm a crazy bitch, ANYTHING to basically say this date is actually never gonna happen then it's weird and you're a baby and you need to delete your Hinge profile. When I read his text I just eyerolled and replied with 'ok no worries' and he was literally online for the hour that I sent it which was also weird but that was your opportunity to plan another time if you actually wanted to but ok. Not gonna lie it made me feel quite shit because I have never had anyone bail on me ever and it actually cut me deep (lol) and made me just wanna delete my apps for a bit because I feel like I made loads of progress in my personal growth over the last year and now I'm back to seeking validation from men I've never even met which is NOT what I wanna be depending my happiness on. 

Woah, this turned a bit deep and scathing didn't it! Maybe it's because I'm on my period and I'm sad and needy and want attention from someone who is 6ft3, ginger, works as a builder, is from nz and loves dnb and Grenade bars. (kidding...kinda...)

But basically, any single gals who are reading this, the takeaway from this men are trash. Kidding, the takeaway is to never give 90% to a guy who can't even give 10%. Especially someone you haven't met. Make plans with your friends and date when it feels right.

And on that note I'm gonna stop wallowing in self pity, delete Tinder and cycle to Borough Market for a pistachio croissant from Bread Ahead with my friend. Have a lovely Sunday!