Tuesday, 31 March 2015


My summer holiday is booked! I am going back to  Marbella on June 3rd with some girlfriends. For anybody who watches 'The Only Way is Essex', or reads the Daily Mail, you will understand the whole 'Marbs' stereotype. Beautiful skinny girls, tanned muscular boys, money, glamour, parties, you get the picture. I have to admit, after visiting Marbella three times before the stereotype is true! And I must admit I absolutely LOVE it! What is there to dislike about caking on a full face of make-up to pose poolside in 30 degree heat all day... (lol). OK, perhaps I am being a little sarcastic/extreme but it is a very glamorous place to be, therefore I need to start preparing. Which brings me to the point of this post.

I HATE speaking about my weight, because I have always had an issue with it for as long as I can remember. As with most girls, my weight has been up and down over the last few years. I put on weight throughout college and the start of uni, then lost loads of weight in my third year of uni from replacing two meals a day with a protein shake. I was skinny, but I had NO muscle and as you can see from the photo, my bum was completely non-existent. As with any fad diet, I put the weight straight back on (and more!) when I started eating normally again, and I am back to square one. Square one being completely ashamed and unhappy with my body.

Top- one year ago
Bottom- me right now

It is almost April, and I am determined to get the body I have always wished for. I have started training hard with my boyfriend, I am sticking to a custom designed meal plan, and I have my holiday in the forefront of my mind to stop me slipping. I have even downloaded one of those countdown apps to remind me how scarily close it is until I am rubbing shoulders with the self-proclaimed 'models' and weekend millionaires at Ocean Club. (For the record, it is 64!) Not to mention, the girls I am going with are slimmer than me and there is no way that I am being the 'fat friend'.

dream bod

It pains me to admit that my finger has been hovering over the 'publish' button for this post for about half an hour before I took the plunge and decided to make it public because it is such a sensitive topic for me! I feel as though I wrote half of it with both my hands covering my face in pure shock over the fact I was about to post a photograph of my (almost) naked body for the world to see.  I take pride in my blog as being something completely non-serious and quite humorous, but I was at the gym the other day and caught sight of myself in the mirror running and wanted to burst out crying! So I feel if I make my feelings (and body) public then I will kind of shock myself into making a change. Oh, and although the title states otherwise, I most certainly will be eating carbs! (In moderation, of course!)

Who's with me? (motivational tweets welcome!)


  1. This post is so inspiring, it has made me more determined to create a meal plan! Hope to see more updates from this.

    1. Thankyou so much! I can't believe how much of a great response this post has had, makes me feel a lot better!
      I will try and do weekly updates :)

  2. Hun this is such a great post! I think so SO many people will be able to relate to you, including me!! My weight is always fluctuating and I'm determined to try and lose it through healthy eating and exercise instead of silly diets where I always put it all back on again! (Hmm, maybe shouldn't have had all that pizza and sweeties today!! oops...) You have a great body though, and V jealous of your abs girl!!

    Sarah xxx || www.whatsasssays.com